Does “Vampires Suck” Really Suck?

Just so you know, if I had had a choice, I would have not watched Vampires Suck (2010). Not in a million years. But I was with my girlfriend’s friends and they CHOSE to rent it. I emphasize the word “chose” because my conclusion at the end of this post is based on the idea that the vast majority of people aren’t forced to watch movies. Watching films, especially selecting them, is a mindful act.

Why did they choose Vampires Suck I don’t know. Perhaps because it is a spoof of one of the biggest franchises of the decade. Or maybe just to see 40 seconds of a group of guys with 6-pack abs on denim shorts dancing “It’s Raining Men.” But regardless of the reason, it was a mindful act.

The same holds true for the thousands who went to the theaters when it was released. According to Wikipedia, the film opened at #1 with $4,016,858. Its budget was 20 million and it’s gross revenue was 80 million.

I don’t have to tell you how cheesy, implausible, and stupid 99% of the movie is. Every seven seconds, someone in the audience had to comment, “That’s so dumb.” Yet my girlfriend’s friends all knew what to expect when they chose that movie. And I’m sure the reaction wasn’t much different in the theaters.   Although the crowd may laugh together, deep inside they all agree it is not a master piece.

An editor friend of mine, who didn’t bother to watch it, was venting, “Why!? Why would any one make a movie like that. It is a disservice to mankind and especially  the filmmaking community!” I couldn’t avoid thinking, “Is it really?”

I myself don’t see anyone losing anything. The filmmakers made money and the audience watched what they wanted. It’s a win-win situation. That little spoof, for bad or worse, gave employment to dozens of artists and craftsmen. It put the leading actress, Jenn Proske, on the map, and she will forever be indebted to this movie, like many of her co-stars.

As I see it, Vampires Suck doesn’t suck; it is a piece of entertainment that opens doors to the young workers of the industry. Although it won’t have a lasting impact on mankind or cinema history, I’m sure many of the crew and cast members will start a career of their own because this flick gave them a first chance. Does it make sense?

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